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Online Dating Tips for Men


Here are my best online dating tips for men to help ensure they put their best foot forward in their written dating profile and the photos they post.


DON’T mention how you like a girl to dress or that you want her to be attractive and fit. Most girls don’t appreciate or relate to this kind of language. You can get a sense for someone’s style from their photos or when you meet. People are attracted to different things. You don’t have to make it a written requirement for someone to look good in a miniskirt.

DO find ways to stand out from the crowd. You may be an easy-going guy who likes sports, but that is not intriguing or particularly interesting. Be sure to include your unique qualities and the random things you like. This helps girls get a sense of who you are. Humor and intelligence go a long way with women.

DON’T mention politics, sex or other hot-button issues. Focus on the things that make you unique, and use your words to infuse your profile with charm. Girls will be more attracted to a guy who can poke fun at himself than a guy who talks about politics.

DO remember that many girls hide their profiles so they can reach out to the men they’re interested in. This is why you need a profile that showcases your best traits and that is both thoughtful and well written. If you need help writing your profile, ask a female friend to help draft up something that might be interesting to her. A good profile should discuss what makes you fun and interesting, and what you’re hoping to find.


DO include a smiling photo. All my female clients tell me that if all a guy’s profile only includes non-smiling photos, she won’t write to him. You don’t want to look like an angry guy. Show your personality.

DON’T include a photo without a shirt. Girls think it’s tacky. If you’re on a boat and you were hanging with friends, and it’s a great shot, that’s one thing. But if you have included a photo of you without a shirt specifically to show that you’re in shape, most girls actually don’t care.

DO post a collection of photos that includes the following: one smiling photo, one or two non-smiling photos (preferably with smiling eyes), one or two photos with friends and at least one full-length that shows your entire body.

DON’T post a bunch of horrible photos taken from a low angle with your phone. When you take photos from a low angle, you get a double chin. You should also avoid posting photos taken in your bathroom mirror.

DO include photos showing various kinds of outfits. One might be a suit jacket, business shirt and jeans. One might be something you’d wear to a club, like a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. One might be something you’d wear hiking. Show variety. Don’t upload a bunch of photos in the same outfit.

DON’T post photos from 20 years ago. Girls tell me all the time that guys will post old photos from their college days or 20 years ago, when they themselves are much older. Post photos of yourself, now. Because when you walk through the door, you’re going to look exactly like you look. This tip applies to both men and women.


DO ask questions that show genuine interest. Women are more likely to respond when someone asks them a thoughtful question related to something they wrote in their profile.

DON’T send a note saying, “Hi, cutie!” or “Hey, beautiful!” or worse, “Hi.” The lack of effort causes most girls to ignore those messages. Remember, girls can be absolutely inundated with hundreds of messages in their online dating inbox. Putting in a bit of extra effort will help set you apart from the pack.

DO take the time to write a few sentences about yourself, and to address at least one thing that the girl said in her profile. Interest in what she says will create more spark than something like, “Hey.”

DON’T make spelling or grammatical errors in your messages to a girl you’re interested in. People always notice mistakes. Take the time to make sure you haven’t made any errors so you don’t get dismissed by someone for poor grammar.

DO remember to respect someone’s time. If you set a time and place, be at that place, on time. A friend of mine showed up for a date and after she’d arrived, the guy texted her that he was running one hour late. She sent him a few choice words about wasting her time and never responded to him again.

DON’T forget to be confident and chivalrous when you meet. You can be a shy person and still be confident and engaging in conversation. Asking a girl questions is a great place to start.


  • Avoid pale colors on top. Think mid-tones and darker colors. A pale-color shirt is fine if used underneath a darker jacket, but on its own, can make you look washed out in photos.
  • One look should be a dark suit jacket, business shirt and jeans.
  • Another look can be a mid-tone long-sleeved shirt and a different pair of jeans.
  • Short-sleeved shirts don’t photograph as well as long-sleeved, but if you want to wear a collared polo for one shot, bring it along.
  • One pair of black or brown nice shoes is probably all you’ll need, since most shots won’t be full-length. Same with the belt.
  • Colors like mid-tone or royal blue look good on just about everybody. Pink, not so much.
  • Logo T-shirts should be avoided.
  • Clothes should be clean and lint-free. Keep things on hangers to avoid wrinkles.
  • Be sure to bring options to your photo session. We don’t have to use all of them, but it’s better to have too many choices than not enough.
  • Your pockets should be empty. No wallet, no phone. Leave that stuff in the car or at the studio.

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